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Let Me Tell Y’all About the Time: I Broke My Rib…

October 20, 2010

When I was 13  my family was up in New Jersey at the “shore” (No, not THE Jersey Shore, but the shore in Jersey.) one summer and I had a cold.

The kind of cold that came with a hacking kind of cough that makes you wonder if that small 13 year old girl with  sunburn and awkward bangs was really a 60 year old chain smoker.

But all 13 year olds are a bit dramatic, no?

So here I am, chilling in my grandparents house at the “shore” relaxing from a morning making sand drip castles and having hot dogs stolen by seagulls when I start up with the coughing. Then I hear *CRACK* and suddenly couldn’t breath. I couldn’t talk. I couldn’t say what was wrong.

My granddad is playing cards in the kitchen and can’t figure out why I am crying. My mom is in the bathroom wondering why I cam crying and all I can do is cry and cry and cry.  They take me to the ER in the next city over where they proceed to give 13 year old Katie a pregnancy test before they will even really examine me. Apparently I looked like a hussy in my Limited Too matching shirt/shorts combo.

They X-Ray me, tell me there is nothing wrong with me and send me on my merry way with my “stomach ache”. Except a few weeks later I am still in pain and I notice a bump over one of my ribs on my back so we go to a doctor back home in North Carolina and we bring along the x-rays from New Jersey. “Oh yeah, here’s the crack right here (POINTS TO A CRACK IN MY BONE) I can’t believe no one noticed this!”

This is where in a normal story I would tell you all about how I learned my lesson about my tiny bones and my hard coughing. I would tell you I started drinking gallons of milk for fun and taking better care of my self.

But in my world, knowing milk is in a glass near me give me the heebie-jeebies and I don’t take a sick day unless I can not move my body enough to shift gears in my car means that this story has a part 2.

Part 2 starts a few weeks ago when I was sick with another cold, or as I like to say “allergies”. Not being a big medicine person, I just kinda hack all day and pretend eating jolly ranchers is totally helping. Then the cough starts to fade around middle of last week but I realize I have this really awful pain on back and my side through to the front (I described it as if someone shot me in the back with an arrow.)

The pain kinda stuck around and it hurt most when I would cough, sneeze, lay down flat or, oh yeah, BREATH.  I tried laying with my heating pad(obviously my heating pad fixes all everything) taking my extra strength Excedrin, crying, and avoiding my bra like the plague when I got home. Everything hurt.

After 5 days of this I made an appointment at my general doctor. And low and behold I have done it again.

I decided not to get x-rays done because in the doctor’s honesty he told me that if my bone were broken, or even if I just strained a muscle in my chest wall he would treat both the same way.

Anyone else take comfort in the fact that my 13 year old self and my 25 year old self still has a flare for dramatic coughing and can’t take care of my self past the common cold? I know I do.

Now, someone please pass the legal narcotic I was prescribed…

7 Comments leave one →
  1. October 20, 2010 11:34 am

    I laughed so hard when I was reading this entry! I do crazy things like eat jolly ranchers when I’m sick too–but usually it’s pink lemonade for me! haha! I hope you’re feeling better soon :)

  2. October 20, 2010 2:26 pm

    They give everyone who has a period a pregnancy test. It’s a cheap, easy way to rule out the obvious. I know it’s completely unnecessary in most cases, but I’ve done them on 14 year olds and it’s been positive! Scary, but true.

    Enjoy the meds :-) Get well soon.

  3. October 20, 2010 2:36 pm

    Ok, I am so sorry that I am laughing, but you are cracking me up! For starters, I am SO sorry about your pain and being sick!! I hope you fell better soon! But you definitely had me laughing because I do the exact same thing when I have a “cold”. It’s always allergies and I’m never contagious and I always eat peppermints or jolly ranchers to try not to cough….oh how I hate being sick!

    Get well soon!!

  4. October 21, 2010 9:10 am

    Holy crap, that is awful – and it happened twice?! eesh! I hope that legal narcotic is treating you well and that you’re able to take some time to recoop.

  5. October 21, 2010 5:45 pm

    Whoa! I had no idea you could break ribs from coughing! That sounds painful!! Hope you are feeling better soon!

    When I get sick I always do that annoying thing where I go *cough, cough* I’m not sick *cough, sneeze, cough* for several days before I finally give in and take some meds.

  6. October 21, 2010 8:22 pm

    Oh wow! I can’t believe coughing can break a rib! I have been getting over my “allergies” this week and have started coughing. Maybe I need to be careful. I hope you feel better soon!

  7. November 26, 2010 1:57 pm

    I haven’t laughed so hard in forever! Great one!!

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