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December 23, 2010

Can I take a minute to talk about Friends and Friendships? It’s not very Christmas-y but it’s something I am thinking about.

Clearly these aren't the friends I am talking about but I needed something to break up my wordiness and when aren't they relate-able to everything?

I know friendships evolve, and I know that people change therefore their relationships need to change with them, but I am finding this especially hard to accept right now! Specifically I am preoccupied with the way a lot of friendships have changed since College…

Some background on me: I am not a very good verbal communicator ( I know this because of a communications course I took told me so.) – I hate talking on the phone, would prefer email and I tend to forget who I catch up on my life since I put a lot out over these here  interwebs anyway.  Work is so busy from about September to February and when I come home after work I like to change into yoga pants and sit on my couch- weekends are packed with work so I am not what you would call a social butterfly with plans every other night. I like being a homebody when I finally get home.

I say all this because lately I have been most sad about a friendship that I can feel has ended. I don’t think I did anything out of my normal behavior I just don’t think I met this person’s expectations of their definition of a “friend”.

And this is where I get tripped up and spend time wondering when and how relationships and people change.

I guess Albie and I have changed together and we communicate the same way – so we work. I have friends who are great people to keep up on gchat and we talk about subject matters A-Z through out the work day. I have friends from when I really young who I barely catch up with except via Facebook yet I still consider them close friends. So how can other friendships fail where others have grown? Why can I juggle most everyone else expectations of me but not others?

I guess those are all rhetorical questions, but it felt good to type it up and publish it.

2 Comments leave one →
  1. December 23, 2010 9:43 am

    I know what you mean. I had what I considered a really good friend and what felt like out of nowhere she basically stopped being my friend. When I asked her to do stuff she always had something going on, etc. I actually asked her if I did something and, if so, could I fix it. She brushed it off and said she was just busy. I’m sad to say I finally just kind of gave up. I mean, I don’t want a friend that treats me like that…she can’t just be my friend when it’s convenient for her, ya know?

    So I guess things and relationships do change over time…it’s not fun. Growing up isn’t fun sometimes. :) Hang in there! Thinking about you!

  2. December 23, 2010 11:10 am

    Like Stephanie, I had a similar situation happen. One of my college friends and I were literally inseperable until she moved to Charleston. Then, she started being friends with and dating a guy that was several years younger than the two of us. All of a sudden, I didn’t relate to her lifestyle of partying on a Tuesday night. It hurt me so much when I didn’t invite her to be a bridesmaid, but it is supposed to be the people you are closest to. Anyways, friendship situations are so hard, but I think that makes the friendships that last so much greater and more cherished as we age. Doesn’t make it any easier though!

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